Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The Wolford stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;
The fashionistas were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Louboutins, Jimmy Choo, and Balenciaga danced in their heads;
And I was dressed in my cute Victoria Secret jammies, and cute Gucci cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Hundreds of men dressed all in black, with their cameras they flashed,
And I threw on my Marc Jacobs dress, the one with the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But lots of cameras, and more than eight paparazzi, I fear
These guys were so lively, so clever, and quick,
I thought in a moment, where's Ashton, is this a trick?
More rapid than eagles their coursers they came,
And they whistled, and shouted, and called instructions the same;
Now, here! now, over there! and look over the shoulder, you little Vixen!
On, Come here! Pretend to kiss Cupid! Oh, give us a twirl and do a split-zen!
To the top of the head! to the tip of the toe!
Now flash away! flash away! flash away all!
Baffled and Confused, I didn't know if I should be flattered or cry,
But before I could blink, I realized they weren't after me, they were after the big guy!
So up to the house-top the paparazzi they flew,
To capture photos of the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I glanced at my Cartier watch on my hand, and was turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in faux fur, and Prada from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were clean, he avoided the ashes and soot;
A bundle of fashion finds he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a fashion maven just opening his Louis Vuitton pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled like Clooney.
His dimples like Mario Lopez., how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The beautiful red rose that he held tight in his teeth,
And the Tiffany ornaments; he began to decorate the wreath;
He had a GQ face and a dark tan, that was fake
His cute lil body shook, like Kelis's "Milkshake".
He was handsome and dapper, a right jolly old man,
And I laughed when I saw him, he was such a ham;
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings with stylish goodies; then turned with an erk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,
'Have a Stylish Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!'
No comments:
Post a Comment