TECHNO ROMANCE: DATING 2010

In the age where texting instead of talking, and social networking that can cause so much unnecessary drama, that it's almost comical, dating has changed. So what is appropriate and what isn't appropriate, I went straight to my friends (both girls and guys). And came up with a pretty good list of Do's & Don'ts that are pretty typical according to both sexes.

DO's

Understand the purpose of a "social networking site". Everyone uses a social networking site differently, some use it for business and some use it to really keep in touch with friends from high school, college, work, etc. Both sexes say that facebook can cause unnecessary drama because there is no respect boundaries.

Good Morning, beautiful. Is a great way to start the morning. The girls that have received these texts say that a morning text like that could make their whole day. And ladies, it's ok to start it off by texting your guy "Good Morning, handsome," I asked the men and they said that they'd smile if they received a simple text like that.

Allow comments. Allow the person you are dating to post on your "Wall". And definitely recipricate. The groups of men and women I spoke to, like to know that the person they are dating is thinking about them throughout the day, or like one of the guys said, "I like to know that she can't get me off her mind."

Keep your "stalkers" at bay. Ladies, we all know you are a sexy little thing, but the guys aren't really into reading about the other guys who leave you messages like, "I miss you, baby." Don't get me wrong it's ok that your friends who are the opposite sex might miss you, but 'baby' isn't appropriate. And guys, listen up, one of the pet peeves of the ladies, is the "girl" who comments on every single thing you post. You could post, "I just went to the bathroom" and that "girl" will "like it" or leave some lame comment. We kinda don't like "the girl" and it has nothing to do with being insecure at all, it has to do with appropriateness and respectful. And if we were in a different environment, she'd be what Vince Vaughn calls a "Stage 5 clinger" in Wedding Crashers.

It's ok to "like" a friend's photo, but, . . .ladies, let's be respectful of the fellas, do not like or comment something disrespectful on a male friend's photo that is shirtless. We all know that guy friend deserves kudos for putting in the extra time in the gym, but would you like it if a guy did that to a scantily clad female friend? Yea, exactly.

DON'TS

Here are a few warning signs that might hint that that person may not be "that" into you. Because if you address it and it's still happening, . . .I hate to say this, but move on, . . .Here are some of guys and girls gripes when it comes to 2010's and it's "Techno-Romance".

Communicate Clearly. Texting and email is great for short messages that you either do not have the time to say, or to see if you are still on for your date, running late, etc. The downfall behind texting, emailing, and facebooking is that "TONE" is 20% of your communication. The way someone says something is soo important. Not sure you understand, try this exercise. Say the phrase: "I love my job.", say it like you are so happy, you just got a job that you love. Now, say "I love my job.", as if your boss just came in and called you an awful name and handed you even more work to do. The words don't necessarily matter, it's more of the inflection. It's important to have "phone" conversations too. Guys, women fall in love between the ears. Ladies, men fall in love with their eyes.

When "SHE" writes "I LOVE YOU" every single day. Again, appropriateness, we get it, you like, or love each other, but guys do not need you to write that on their page every single day. And guys, girls aren't really a big fan of it either. It's like "pissing on your territory" and its not really attractive.

When "HE" facebooks more than he communicates with you. This actually works for both sexes. If you really like the significant other that you are dating, you should really try the whole texting "Good morning beautiful" or "Good morning handsome", before playing for hours on Facebook. Too much facebook can ruin a relationship. Jason says, "I adore this girl that I am dating, but when she is constantly playing on facebook and hasn't even acknowledged me for the day, it makes me wonder what is more important, Facebook or me." And ladies, I've heard it from you too. Michelle says, "One of my biggest pet peeves on Myspace is when the guy I am dating is posting all kinds of bulletins and blogs, but doesn't respond to any of my texts. Am I wrong?" Looks like we can honestly say now that social networking has increased our unemployment rate even more.

Don't get mad about it, Talk about it. If you are trying to have an "adult" relationship, both sexes, listen up! Instead of getting mad about something when it comes to techno-romance, such as, texting, emailing, and facebooking, TALK ABOUT IT.

If you are blocked/deleted, even after you have worked it out. Warning sign! Either the argument isn't ok, like you think it is or that person is just really not that into you. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out!

NEW BEGINNING

There was a song lyric once that said "Every new beginning, comes from some other beginning's end." And I find that very true in my life. With the passing of my grandfather, I feel like a chapter has closed and blank pages lay in front of me, just aching to be painted. Painted with a new beginning, . . .a new me? the same me, but with a different goal?

Each day, I grow closer to finding comfort in the things that use to not be so important to me before. Now, I enjoy walking in my neighborhood, running on the beautiful well-manicured landscaping that makes Beverly Hills, a sanctuary for me, curling up on the sofa at 9pm with a new eye-opening book and a warm cup of red roobis chai tea (and if you haven't tried it yet, it's at Trader Joe's and it's phenomenal. Honestly, it's like Christmas in a cup, and who doesn't love Christmas?)

I've made a new list of goals to obtain in 2009. One of them, includes to blog more. Yes, I vow to share in my inquiries of life and maybe not always what I am going through, but others around me. (And don't worry for privacy sake, if I mention your particular life question, I will change your name.) I will most definitely keep you all current with the trends in the industry on my other blog- FASHION THREAD.

This blog is going to allow me to share my feelings, thoughts, and writings with the world, really, the whole world, thanks to the invention of the world wide web. With that said, I should say, if you do not want things/photos shared, why would you post them? On facebook, twitter, and myspace? These social sites allow every detail of your life to be shared-- that is my next blog- when is enough, enough? what to share and what not to share. Remember life's little lesson- "Less is More", but of course, that short, cute little statement only pertains to a few things in life. Because no one can never have too many Louis Vuitton bags, Tiffany's diamonds, Jimmy Choo shoes, and hugs. (of course, I am talking more about the latter, but the other things are fun too >wink<)

I also want this blog to be a chance for you all to ask me questions and I will do my best to answer. Topics that are welcome: LOVE, FASHION, FAMILY, & FITNESS (all the great things that encompass life and it's many gifts.) Ok, before we get all mushy and lovey-dovey, I am straight, to the point, will tell you things in a direct manner and remember it's my opinion! **Note: This blog is the direct opinions of Celebrity Fashion Stylist, Toni Ferrara** (ok, that is up, we are good to go, . . .first topic- why do we post personal stuff on FACEBOOK, MYSPACE, & TWITTER? When is enough, enough? How it affects relationships? How to use these sites in a productive manner? Ok, . . .cross your fingers, . . .here we go, . . .oh and one last thing, please, please, please, have your friends join my BLOG, I'd truly appreciate it! I am pretty witty & funny with my topics that I choose to write about and maybe I am saying something that you or your friends are thinking! Share the love!