HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP IS WORKING

Anyone who has ever been involved in a long-distance relationship knows that distance only makes the heart grow fonder when distance is not the norm. However, it is not all bad and there are limitless things you can do to make a long-distance relationship both fulfilling and feel "normal." There are so many circumstances that cause people to be separated from their significant other, such as military deployment, relocation because of work or school, and the introduction of new relationships via social networking websites. Most of us have been involved in some kind of long-distance relationship with family, friends, and business associates, but undoubtedly, the hardest to maintain is a romantic long-distance relationship. As with any relationship, communication, trust, routine, surprise, and memories are important aspects that will keep the relationship fresh and healthy. I would like to give some ideas and pointers to making your long-distance relationship (or possibility of such a relationship) much more tolerable and (hopefully) enjoyable.


1. Ask yourself how much passion you feel for the other person. Do you eagerly anticipate visits, e-mail and phone calls? Or is making contact a chore?


2. Consider how much attention you give your partner. Do you return e-mail promptly? Do you call when you say you will?

3. Think about how your partner treats you. Is your partner putting as much effort into the relationship as you are? Do you feel cherished? Taken for granted? Neglected?

4. Consider how often you see each other. Do you visit as often as you can? If you frequently choose to spend your time and money on other priorities, you may need to question how important this relationship is to you.

5. Ask yourself whether you trust the other person. Do you feel suspicious about activities or friendships when you're apart? Trust is important in any relationship, but when you're far away, it's even more crucial.

6. Think about the way the two of you communicate. Are you honest and open with each other? Can you be yourselves when you're together? Do you share the day-to-day details of your lives?

7. Consider to what extent your lives are intertwined. Although you're bound to have separate social lives, it's a good sign if you know each other's new friends.

8. Be honest with yourself about why you're in this relationship. Are you motivated by a fear of being alone?

9. Consider your future plans. Do you discuss living in the same city in the future? Do you have a concrete strategy for achieving that?

10. Ask yourself whether your life apart from the other person is more interesting than being together. If so, it may be time to move on.

HOW TO MAKE A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP LAST

Whoever first said that absence makes the heart grow fonder never contended with the weekend airport rush. Here are some ways to hold on to your long-distance lover - and your sanity.


Step 1: Keep in touch daily. If large phone bills are a concern, send e-mail, letters, cards and even faxes.


Step 2: Plan reunions to keep both of you pleased about the relationship. If your partner needs closeness, set up plans to meet often. Having a phone-date to look forward to can help you through the rough times.

Step 3: Reaffirm your love and commitment to one another. Try not to assume that the relationship is thriving. Listen to your partner's concerns and communicate your own before they become bigger problems.

Step 4: Keep your partner informed about your life. You may live separately, but sharing information about your activities and friends is still important.

Step 5: Trust in one another. Suspicion will only break the relationship down.

Step 6: Keep the relationship a high priority. Avoid canceling phone-dates or forgetting to make a phone call.

Step 7: Focus on the future. Make plans to live in the same city eventually.

FOR THE GIRL WHO HAS EVERYTHING, . . .

What do you get the girl who has everything, . . .I get asked this question on a regular basis. What do you get the savvy independent girl who seems like she has or can have anything that she wants? Well, I think it's actually quite simple. Those girls love things that come from the heart. My closest girlfriends enjoy lavish presents, (note: you can never go wrong with anything Louis Vuitton or Balenciaga, umm, . . .do not buy COACH, unless it's for a woman over 45.) However, if you want to stand out amongst the others that will spoil her with designer goods, try gifts from the heart. I know it sounds cliche, its almost like 3rd grade during Valentine's festivities. You take the brightest red piece of paper you can find, you fold it in half, you draw a half heart and with your safety scissors follow the line. You slowly open it up, add an outline of white Elmer's glue, sprinkle some silver glitter, shake it off, and with the dark red Crayola crayon, you write her name on it. The simplest thought earns points.

After much discussion amongst my girlfriends and after much analyzing what I would've liked for my birthday, anniversary, or Christmas, here are a few suggestions for the girl who has everything, . . .

1. WORDS. Women love to hear thoughts from your heart. It can be a simple Haiku, an erotic love letter, or a few lines from your favorite poet.


2. MUSIC. Music is the key to the soul. Are there certain songs that make you think of her? certain lyrics that perfectly describe your relationship with her? Make a mixed CD of songs that remind you of her or songs that you know she'd like. That way every time she plays it you will be on her mind.







3. PHOTOS. Do you all take photos every single time that you are together? Have them all on your iPhone? Facebook? PhotoBucket? Download them, print them, and create a collage. Get an inexpensive frame from an art supply store or Target. Photos are a visual capture of the memories you two have shared.









4. OUTING. Women love when small surprises are planned. Try a romantic picnic on the beach or at a local park. Something simple, sweet, and it doesn't have to count a fortune, but the memories are priceless.










5.CHOCOLATE. Every girl likes to watch her waistline, and every guy has to appreciate that. With that said, try making homemade chocolate dipped strawberries. You will earn serious points for creativity!

NEW BEGINNING

There was a song lyric once that said "Every new beginning, comes from some other beginning's end." And I find that very true in my life. With the passing of my grandfather, I feel like a chapter has closed and blank pages lay in front of me, just aching to be painted. Painted with a new beginning, . . .a new me? the same me, but with a different goal?

Each day, I grow closer to finding comfort in the things that use to not be so important to me before. Now, I enjoy walking in my neighborhood, running on the beautiful well-manicured landscaping that makes Beverly Hills, a sanctuary for me, curling up on the sofa at 9pm with a new eye-opening book and a warm cup of red roobis chai tea (and if you haven't tried it yet, it's at Trader Joe's and it's phenomenal. Honestly, it's like Christmas in a cup, and who doesn't love Christmas?)

I've made a new list of goals to obtain in 2009. One of them, includes to blog more. Yes, I vow to share in my inquiries of life and maybe not always what I am going through, but others around me. (And don't worry for privacy sake, if I mention your particular life question, I will change your name.) I will most definitely keep you all current with the trends in the industry on my other blog- FASHION THREAD.

This blog is going to allow me to share my feelings, thoughts, and writings with the world, really, the whole world, thanks to the invention of the world wide web. With that said, I should say, if you do not want things/photos shared, why would you post them? On facebook, twitter, and myspace? These social sites allow every detail of your life to be shared-- that is my next blog- when is enough, enough? what to share and what not to share. Remember life's little lesson- "Less is More", but of course, that short, cute little statement only pertains to a few things in life. Because no one can never have too many Louis Vuitton bags, Tiffany's diamonds, Jimmy Choo shoes, and hugs. (of course, I am talking more about the latter, but the other things are fun too >wink<)

I also want this blog to be a chance for you all to ask me questions and I will do my best to answer. Topics that are welcome: LOVE, FASHION, FAMILY, & FITNESS (all the great things that encompass life and it's many gifts.) Ok, before we get all mushy and lovey-dovey, I am straight, to the point, will tell you things in a direct manner and remember it's my opinion! **Note: This blog is the direct opinions of Celebrity Fashion Stylist, Toni Ferrara** (ok, that is up, we are good to go, . . .first topic- why do we post personal stuff on FACEBOOK, MYSPACE, & TWITTER? When is enough, enough? How it affects relationships? How to use these sites in a productive manner? Ok, . . .cross your fingers, . . .here we go, . . .oh and one last thing, please, please, please, have your friends join my BLOG, I'd truly appreciate it! I am pretty witty & funny with my topics that I choose to write about and maybe I am saying something that you or your friends are thinking! Share the love!