HOW TO KNOW IF YOUR LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP IS WORKING

Anyone who has ever been involved in a long-distance relationship knows that distance only makes the heart grow fonder when distance is not the norm. However, it is not all bad and there are limitless things you can do to make a long-distance relationship both fulfilling and feel "normal." There are so many circumstances that cause people to be separated from their significant other, such as military deployment, relocation because of work or school, and the introduction of new relationships via social networking websites. Most of us have been involved in some kind of long-distance relationship with family, friends, and business associates, but undoubtedly, the hardest to maintain is a romantic long-distance relationship. As with any relationship, communication, trust, routine, surprise, and memories are important aspects that will keep the relationship fresh and healthy. I would like to give some ideas and pointers to making your long-distance relationship (or possibility of such a relationship) much more tolerable and (hopefully) enjoyable.


1. Ask yourself how much passion you feel for the other person. Do you eagerly anticipate visits, e-mail and phone calls? Or is making contact a chore?


2. Consider how much attention you give your partner. Do you return e-mail promptly? Do you call when you say you will?

3. Think about how your partner treats you. Is your partner putting as much effort into the relationship as you are? Do you feel cherished? Taken for granted? Neglected?

4. Consider how often you see each other. Do you visit as often as you can? If you frequently choose to spend your time and money on other priorities, you may need to question how important this relationship is to you.

5. Ask yourself whether you trust the other person. Do you feel suspicious about activities or friendships when you're apart? Trust is important in any relationship, but when you're far away, it's even more crucial.

6. Think about the way the two of you communicate. Are you honest and open with each other? Can you be yourselves when you're together? Do you share the day-to-day details of your lives?

7. Consider to what extent your lives are intertwined. Although you're bound to have separate social lives, it's a good sign if you know each other's new friends.

8. Be honest with yourself about why you're in this relationship. Are you motivated by a fear of being alone?

9. Consider your future plans. Do you discuss living in the same city in the future? Do you have a concrete strategy for achieving that?

10. Ask yourself whether your life apart from the other person is more interesting than being together. If so, it may be time to move on.